Just feel Like venting myself.... I know Our wedding is coming and I should not be saying all these... But I just reli felt like venting... Just Dun care wad I say.. I'm just talking crap...
I believe setting up blog is part of venting ourself right?

Duno why, I really felt like ending up my life..... To end all the misery life... Another person also wanted to end his/her life.... He/she intend to die with me.... but Duno y, I just so scare of death.... Or I should say I'm really scare of suffering from pain... Read from the newspaper that there's 1 couple who hire a killer to kill both of them... Idea uh? At least can die "unknowingly".... Dun need to make such a big mental preparation... hehe.... I reli Admire those people who commit suicide on MRT tracks... Reli need damn lots of courage to jump down the track with incoming MRT train...

Started from Primary 1, I always tell my friends and relatives that I wanted to die..... I even try to use Pen knife and slashed many lines on my wist during my Secondary school days Hoping to end my life.... But dare not slash deep to kill myself, but again, I'm afraid of suffering from those pains....

Duno y, These days I cry easily.... My eyes can get red and teary every minute.... I just hope this period can end faster... I reli hate these kind of life....

I hate to suffer, I hate people(be it my mum, Hubby, MIL, Who ever also CANNOT) vent anger at me for nothing....

Just reli felt If I have the courage, I'll just jump down and die... Once and for all....

Alrights, I'll try to forget all the bad things.... As wedding is less than 2 months away only... I'll try to be happy... And I always TRY to make my life better and not always feeling so miserable.... I always try to put a smile infront of everybody... And Always cry myself to sleep.... Well, I know not everyone is happy with their life.... But I just felt such a inbalance in my life.....

I do not have much Close and best friends.... But I believe best and close Friend 1 is enough... But whenever I have problems, I duno who to talk to, and I also dare not tell as I dun wan my friends to get worry for me.... and I always bottom up everything, and whenever people ask, I duno wad to say but just teared and dun reli wish to speak a word...

=)

Alrights enough of my rubbish... At least I'm feeling 0.001% better...

Tonight I'll make sure I'm drunk! Yesterday promise to drink with hubby, and end up I forgotten about it.... It's been quite some time eversince I drink alcohol...